Is that hard science or are you just happy to see us?

McSweeney's discusses a new scientific study.

I am pleased to share the results from new studies we've recently completed at the J.D. Aspen Institute that prove conclusively the Chimpy Corollary to the Motherfucker Hypothesis. This corollary claims that "almost all people are at least mildly offended when you address them as Chimpy, yet they often don't know why" and that their level of agitation is "similar regardless of race, religion, nationality, or gender."

The majority of our study was conducted in the real world, addressing workers in various service industries, friends, and family. When uttered, the phrases were held at a constant, unexcited pitch and offered to a myriad of participants who were subsequently asked to respond to a questionnaire regarding the experience.

Examples of statements used in this study include:

"Hold on, Chimpy, I had fries with that."

"Is there a problem, Officer Chimpy?"

"Whoa there, Chimpy, I gave you a twenty."

"Could you pass the wine, Chimpy?"