littleboxes
Personal Distribution of Facial Hair
After careful research, we've determined that it is only OK to joke about molestation if the joke involves one or both of these things:
1) Michael Jackson
2) The facial hair of white men
If we can add anything to this list let us know.
For example, this usually gets some chuckles:
Why did Michael Jackson go to Kmart? Boy's underwear was half-off. (Ha ha!)
This isn't really a joke, but have you (our loyal readers) ever noticed that a rather disporportionate amount of child molestors seem to be white men with mustaches? Or, more correctly, that many, but not all, white men with mustaches look like child molestors. Kevin Bacon clearly would have won an Oscar for the Woodsman if he had grown a mustache. Stupid, Kevin, stupid.
Anyway, we bring this all up because of the recent horrible events in Idaho involving an 8 year girl and a 9 year old boy being molested and the boy possibly being murdered.
The guy who probably did this is from Fargo, ND (the Heartland?). He was around town asking questions about local campgrounds and local communities in the days and months before he (allegedly) abducted these two children and killed some family members. No one thought anything funny because he was so "clean cut."
Duncan was described as relaxed and clean-cut when he stopped at a store in the western Montana logging community of St. Regis more than a month ago for gas and a 12-pack of Bud Light.
He chatted with attendant Jackie Allen for nearly 15 minutes, peppering her with questions about area parks and campgrounds and asking for directions to nearby communities.
Allen said she was "shocked and stunned" to learn that the man she said visited her store was Duncan. "I know people can fool you, but he was a really clean-cut and relaxed guy," Allen said. "It's just kind of shocked me. I still don't know what to think."
(link)
This got us thinking. Maybe there are too many Michael Jackson molestation jokes? Maybe these jokes have distracted the public from the real pedophiles. The real pedophiles being clean-cut, normal-looking, white men (and R. Kelly).
The overabundance of MJ jokes (Michael got sick at a party at Neverland. He choked on a 12 year old weiner! ha ha!) might make people look for this:
instead of looking for this:
So, for starters, we all need to replace the words "Michael Jackson" with "white guy with mustache" in all the molestation jokes.
Why did the white guy with the mustache go to K-mart? Boys' underwear were half-off! (see it's funny and it will divert attention to the real "evil-doers.")
Editor's Note: We want to emphasize again that not ALL white guys with mustaches look like pedophiles, just most white guys with mustaches. For example, Sam Elliot, not a pedophile. Not even close. Sam Elliot is stud.
1) Michael Jackson
2) The facial hair of white men
If we can add anything to this list let us know.
For example, this usually gets some chuckles:
Why did Michael Jackson go to Kmart? Boy's underwear was half-off. (Ha ha!)
This isn't really a joke, but have you (our loyal readers) ever noticed that a rather disporportionate amount of child molestors seem to be white men with mustaches? Or, more correctly, that many, but not all, white men with mustaches look like child molestors. Kevin Bacon clearly would have won an Oscar for the Woodsman if he had grown a mustache. Stupid, Kevin, stupid.
Anyway, we bring this all up because of the recent horrible events in Idaho involving an 8 year girl and a 9 year old boy being molested and the boy possibly being murdered.
The guy who probably did this is from Fargo, ND (the Heartland?). He was around town asking questions about local campgrounds and local communities in the days and months before he (allegedly) abducted these two children and killed some family members. No one thought anything funny because he was so "clean cut."
Duncan was described as relaxed and clean-cut when he stopped at a store in the western Montana logging community of St. Regis more than a month ago for gas and a 12-pack of Bud Light.
He chatted with attendant Jackie Allen for nearly 15 minutes, peppering her with questions about area parks and campgrounds and asking for directions to nearby communities.
Allen said she was "shocked and stunned" to learn that the man she said visited her store was Duncan. "I know people can fool you, but he was a really clean-cut and relaxed guy," Allen said. "It's just kind of shocked me. I still don't know what to think."
(link)
This got us thinking. Maybe there are too many Michael Jackson molestation jokes? Maybe these jokes have distracted the public from the real pedophiles. The real pedophiles being clean-cut, normal-looking, white men (and R. Kelly).
The overabundance of MJ jokes (Michael got sick at a party at Neverland. He choked on a 12 year old weiner! ha ha!) might make people look for this:
instead of looking for this:
So, for starters, we all need to replace the words "Michael Jackson" with "white guy with mustache" in all the molestation jokes.
Why did the white guy with the mustache go to K-mart? Boys' underwear were half-off! (see it's funny and it will divert attention to the real "evil-doers.")
Editor's Note: We want to emphasize again that not ALL white guys with mustaches look like pedophiles, just most white guys with mustaches. For example, Sam Elliot, not a pedophile. Not even close. Sam Elliot is stud.
posted by littleboxes at 11:36 AM
3 Comments:
funny, white guys w/mustaches also have asian fetishes. i think you're onto something big, littleboxes, about the sexual deviance of creepy white guys. keep up the research.
local boy tom selleck is another example of a white man with a moustache that does not exhibit pedophilic tendencies.
where do white men with beards fit into this discussion?
jeremiah johnson. Bearded. Clearly not a child molester.
Post a Comment
<< Home