If Only We Could Get God's Endorsement

This post by Respectful of Otters got us thinking. As many of you know, getting us thinking is never a good idea, but we thought we'd run with it.

from Rivka (over at respectful):

Rev. Chandler apparently believes that God has directly endorsed the Republican ticket; astoundingly, he offered the defense that his actions were "not political."

What if God has actually endorsed the republican party? Of course, unfortunately he hasn't decided to make it public knowledge and has instead only informed a few good Christians, such as Rev. Chandler above. God has a nasty habit of not making things public. Sure would be a lot simpler if he would just spout off from on high and let us all know what he is thinking. We guess he likes to keep things complicated.

But suppose that God (you know, the white-dude with the white robe and the beard) had made his endorsement of George W. Bush public. It sure would settle a few questions and maybe create some even more interesting questions. We would certainly all know that God existed and that he was the God evisioned by the right-wing christians in the United States.

Would his endorsement deflate the ranks of Buddhism, Hinduism, and Islam?



Maybe more interestingly, how would Christian people and Jewish people in the U.S. react? Would they be compelled to support George W. Bush? Might they say, "God, I really appreciate your opinion and all, but I just don't like this Bush character?" Maybe this would be the ultimate test? Kinda like...

Oh God said to Abraham, "Kill me a son"
Abe says, "Man, you must be puttin' me on"
God say, "No." Abe say, "What?"
God say, "You can do what you want Abe, but
The next time you see me comin' you better run"
Well Abe says, "Where do you want this killin' done?"
God says, "Out on Highway 61."


If you were a Christian and then your God endorsed George W. Bush what would you do? Obviously it's an easy question if you already support the President. But what if George Bush really rubbed you the wrong way?

Moreover, what if you weren't even religious. Now after God spoke from above you might be re-evaluating many things. Athiests and all religious people would probably ask God the what we like to call the FIVE ESSENTIAL QUESTIONS:

Am I going to hell?
Am I going to hell if I voted for John Kerry?
Am I going to hell if I voted for a third party candidate (e.g. Buddha, Vishnu)?
Did Moses really look like Charleton Heston?
Is there really a planet of the apes and will Mark Wahlberg be able to save us?

Of course, one might not ask these essential questions in that order.

So, we'd like to use this space to ask God to please make his endorsements public next time. For we are dealing with humans and while Rev. Chandler is probably an honorable man, sometimes, even honorable men are mistaken.

Kenny Chesney responds to a question regarding how many times he engaged in sexual relations with Renee Zellweger during their first night as a couple:


Meanwhile...
Humanity Critic blogs about crazy shit that has come out of Pat Robertson's mouth. By the way, in an informal poll 90% of the littleboxes staff think Humanity Critic has one kick-ass blog. It is regularly entertaining and often insightful.

Here's some statements by Mr. Robertson that humanity critic points out:

"[Homosexuals] want to come into churches and disrupt church services and throw blood all around and try to give people AIDS and spit in the face of ministers."

"The feminist agenda is not about equal rights for women. It is about a socialist, anti-family political movement that encourages women to leave their husbands, kill their children, practice witchcraft, destroy capitalism, and become lesbians."

See the nappy diatribe link on the right hand side for humanity critic's blog.