Tuesday, July 18, 2006

Tangoed and Cashed

Many mistakingly believe that John Kerry was the first man to be "swift boated." Actually Ray Tango and Gabriel Cash of the movie Tango and Cash may have been the first. Although Randy Feldman is listed as the official writer, this script has Karl Rove's fingerprints all over it.

Tango (Sly Stallone) and Cash (Kurt Russell) are the best cops in Los Angeles, although they argue about who really is the best cop. Cash and Tango appear to be narcotics cops and have confiscated millions of dollars worth of cocaine. They are popular and well-loved by children and adults. They are cool, honest, and noble. As dope dealer Yves Perret exclaims, "Oh, God. Ray Tango. How he loves to dance. He waltzes in and takes all my drugs, then tangos back out again."

What could possibly be done to bring these two down? Yves Perret (Jack Palance) is a criminal mastermind. Instead of attacking the weaknesses of Tango and Cash (do they have any?) Yves goes after the strengths of Tango and Cash. He attacks their integrity and identify as honest police officers by framing them as the killers of an FBI agent! Genuis. They are convicted and sent to prison, leaving Mr. Perret free to deal his drugs in peace. As Yves himself says "what a shameful fall from glory."

Of course, the story does have a happy ending, so maybe Karl only wrote the first half.