Joey

Joey! Those peppers are hot! I still feel 'em in my chest, the heat is, like, rising up and going out my frickin' ears.

Meanwhile...
The LAPD Plans to Curb Flashlight Beatings

The proposed policy, to be considered Jan. 11, stops short of the near-total bans on practice enacted in other large cities. It states that flashlights should only be used for light and should only be used as a weapon in very unusual circumstances.

Ricardo Garcia, criminal justice director of the American Civil Liberties Union of Southern California, said the proposal was a good start.

"On the positive side, at least this will give officers some training on how if they're going to strike with a flashlight to do it," Garcia said. "Before this, they could pretty much do anything."

Staff Picture

We usually don't like to release pictures of the staff at littleboxes. However, Bjorn (thong, right) was quite proud of this picture. As you can tell, this component of the staff are firmly in their social security drawing years.

Meanwhile, no body or vehicle armor in Iraq, but we hear there is plenty of body odor.
Just think of those army guys and gals, in the hot sun, all that equipment...smelly. Tune in next week for: Is Odor the new Armor?

She's so dirty

Angela K. Brown is an associated press reporter. Judging by the headline of this article, she's also a dirty girl.

She had several options for a title but chose "Captive Elephant Breeding Hard." Shame, shame. Why not use "difficult" or "problematic" of "Difficulty Breeding Capitive Elephants?"

How many of our readers remember the band Sugar Ray? You know, I just wanna fly.
Anyway, the lead singer of that band, Mark McGrath, was destined for fame with his rock star good looks. Even though his band's fame is over, he is moving along. Most recently he recorded a duet with Shania Twain, that has to be one of the worst songs ever recorded. At the moment, he is hosting the syndicated entertainment news show "Extra." Ouch! How they not-so-mighty have fallen. One day you're housing VH1's top 100 most controversial moments and the next day your co-hosting Extra.

And...for the small, yet strangely vocal, component of our readership that is heavily involved in the use and distribution of illicit substances, Dr. Mary Holley ,who runs a Mothers Against Methamphetamine ministry in Albertville, Ala., and has interviewed men and women addicted to meth, said sex is the No. 1 reason people use it.

"The effect of an IV hit of methamphetamine is the equivalent of 10 orgasms all on top of each other lasting for 30 minutes to an hour, with a feeling of arousal that lasts for another day and a half," she said.

But, before you run out and get some, you should all know that...

"After you have been using it about six months or so you can't have sex unless you are high," Holley said. "After you have been using it a little bit longer you can't have sex even when you're high. Nothing happens. It doesn't work."

AND

Use of the addictive drug can cause brain damage, violent behavior and hallucinations, and exposure to the potentially explosive vapors during the manufacture of meth can cause respiratory problems, headaches and nausea.

AND, after awhile...

"Hair falls out. Teeth fall out," Walters said. "That's not sexy."

(for the rest of the story)

One last thing. If you are awake at night, pondering your mortality, possibly thinking about terrorism, think of these comforting words from our president, George W. Bush.

"We're a large country, with all kinds of avenues where somebody could inflict harm."
"We've made a lot of progress in protecting our country, and there's more work to be done, and this administration is committed to doing it."

Meanwhile, in Iraq...

Triangle of Trainquility

It is so touching that the Iraqi's (fully in control) have decided to endow a part of their country with the catchy moniker "Traingle of Death."
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BAGHDAD, Iraq - Multinational troops have arrested 210 suspected militants in a weeklong crackdown against insurgents in an area south of Baghdad known as the "triangle of death," the U.S. military command said Wednesday. (see article)
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In other news...Harvard Law School has banned military recruiters on campus. Seeing that Harvard Law School is really the primary source of new infantry grunts in our nation, this deals a serious blow to efforts to increase troop deployment.
OK, so we understand the whole "principle" thing, but how many military recruiters are really hanging around Harvard Law School?
Why not ban them at the local mall or in publicly funded high schools? Well, that would be just too crazy.
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He awoke, as if from a dream, to find that the coke-addled, hamster-stuffer was, thankfully, only the prime minister of Cananda, and had not, been annointed by God as president of the United States of America. He rolled onto the floor like a tired puppy and chewed on the rug, pregnant with unbridled joy.